Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
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Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
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Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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