my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
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