so that wasnt chicken after all
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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