New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Randomize