You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize