it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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