So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
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I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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