Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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