i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize