i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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