Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
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