i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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