I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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