What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize