Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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