He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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