I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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