And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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