We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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