they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
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I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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