Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize