So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
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Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
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Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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