His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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