where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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