party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
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