R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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