she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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