Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
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Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
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Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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