false alarm. still invincible.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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