he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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