just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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