Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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