I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
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