She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
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I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
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He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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