i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
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My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
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Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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