dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Come on in and take your pants off
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