Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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