Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
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he tried to breastfeed my turtle
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
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The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
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