I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
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You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
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YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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