I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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