So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
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So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
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Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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