Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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