I wannas sexs uuuuu
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
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