so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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