yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
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so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
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im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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