I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
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