i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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