There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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