Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
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HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
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drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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