i already hear my dad disowning me
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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