Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
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I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
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If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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