A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
there is glitter all over my balls
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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